Can Murder be Endured?

Earlier this week I met a woman whose daughter was murdered six years ago. I met her at a book signing. She was a lovely woman, who had an unusual calmness about her. I could sense the compassion she feels for everyone. This was confirmed as no less than ten people walked by while we were speaking and stopped to hug her and tell me about all the wonderful things she has done for them.

Our conversation began after she read through my book. She loved it and told me the concepts were true principles. Then she pointed to the word "Gratitude" on my marketing banner and said, "Do you realize there is a higher concept than Gratitude? There is a word you can use that will have a more powerful effect on your psyche than simply expressing "I am grateful" or "I am thankful". I was completely unaware of what it would be. She said the word is "praise". She suggested I try "I praise thee that......" the next time I want to express gratitude. She said I will be able to feel that it is a more powerful term. It expresses more clearly the trust we put in God as our master architect. It takes you one step beyond the gratitude level.

Not only was her daughter murdered, but her husband was shot during the same incident, yet survived. I was in awe of what this woman was teaching me. There was no bitterness or despair in her. As we spoke, I referred to when she "lost" her daughter and she corrected me. She cupped my hand in both of hers and said, "Oh Valerie, I never "lost" my daughter. Please don't refer to it that way. She simple went home, and today I feel very close to her. She is near, just in a dimension I can't see, but I can feel her. I never lost her."

Turning to God through that traumatic experience helped her grow spiritually, and she was willing to share a few key things she learned. She gave me permission to blog about our conversation.

She said that through that traumatic experience, she has discovered the power of words. Words generate an energy of their own when spoken. They have a direct influence over our emotions and our physical body. One of the neighbor's who stopped to chat had an obvious physical ailment. As this neighbor walked away, my new friend referred to her neighbor's "endurance". I found the word "endurance" curious, so she explained that she never uses terms like "trial, affliction, etc." She said that most people equate endurance with suffering, yet it is the opposite of suffering. It is an opportunity to refine our faith and trust until we can recognize our Father in Heaven's voice.

She also told me that the phrase "time heals all wounds" is a lie. Time has no power to heal. The only thing time does is give you an opportunity to reach the moment when you consciously CHOOSE to endure it well. When you switch from bitterness and fear to faith and trust, this is when your wounds heal.

It has been days since I met this wonderful lady, and I continue to think about her and our conversation. How would I react in that situation? It is hard to know. She is an example to all of us as we "endure" our personal "hills and valleys". I know mine pale in comparison to hers.

What an amazing education she gave me. She is the real deal. I've already tried the "praise" approach, and it does make a difference! Try it yourself!