Mother Teresa, Parades, and Garlic

This week has been filled with numerous reminders about the importance of proper focus. Here is another great story I heard from a Costco customer named Marnae. She is a life coach and specialist in Rapid Eye Techniques.

Years ago, Mother Teresa was invited to be the Grand Marshal of a parade in Calcutta. The parade was being organized as an anti-war protest. She told the organizers that she would not take part in such a protest, but if they ever organized a parade focused on peace, she would support it.

A school counselor named Linda recently called me to ask if I would speak at a Junior High School assembly. I had met Linda many months ago at a book signing. Linda told me that after reading my book and speaking with me, she realized they were focusing on the wrong thing at their school! The first half of the year, they had implemented an anti-bullying campaign. With the support of the school principle, they have now decided to switch their focus to a more positive approach; that of developing leaders and heroes.

It is so easy to focus on the negative. We seem to do it naturally unless we seize the reins of our thoughts while we are developing habits to think better.

Before I wrote my children's book, What are You Thinking?, I had already had wonderful experiences with my boys in applying concepts of thought with great success. A favorite story of mine is how one of my sons stopped wetting the bed when we changed the focus from,"I will not wet the bed" to "I'm so grateful that I am a big boy who wakes with dry sheets". I have an earlier post entitled 10 Questions where I go into detail about this.

I was sharing this story again with a man in the Bountiful Costco and he told me his father would position him in front of the bathroom mirror, tell his son to look at himself and say out loud, "I will not wet the bed". I asked this man how he felt when his father made him do this. He said it felt awful. It was embarrassing and negative. I said, "I bet you had that challenge for a long time." He acknowledged that he dealt with the problem into his teens.He grew up in San Diego and was all about surfing and sports. He acknowledged that no matter how tough you may appear to others, those emotional issues can take hold of anyone.

Tonight another man told me his mother would rub a pasty garlic spread all over him at night in an effort to help him not wet the bed. I asked him why she did that. He didn't know. He thinks it had to do with a cultural belief that the garlic would ward off negative spirits or something. The jar of garlic went back in the refrigerator, and no one wanted to touch it. Each time he opened the refrigerator door to get a snack, he was reminded of how humiliating the whole situation was.

When ever you hear yourself or a child say, "I will not...." turn it around to an "I will..." statement. (ex. "I will not strike out" switch to "I will hit the ball"). So simple, but so often not applied. If you want to take it a step further, follow the suggestion of another Costco customer who visits Calcutta frequently to do charitable work in local orphanages. She told me that there is no more powerful statement than starting an affirmation with "I am.....".